Does it Matter?
"What we give doesn't always return, but what we give is always what we are."
I don’t know who is responsible for this quote, but I think it is so important. What a perfect way to relay such a simple truth.
If we're being honest, leadership can often feel immensely discouraging. As leaders, we give more, do more, and sacrifice more than most people ever see. And most of the time, the return appreciation or recognition falls short of satisfying.
I have never been the type to need a gold star for doing something good. But everyone wants to feel appreciated. It’s not even the desire to be appreciated for the act, but for the heart and intention behind the act. That’s what feels the worst - when people don't see you. When they can’t see that you went the extra mile because you care for them, or that you stayed late so they wouldn't have to. But it happens time and time again, to no fault of the other person. They are simply too occupied by their own world to see beyond it. This may be the loneliest part of Leadership.
This translates to many other areas of life as well. I bet there are a few Mothers who know what I’m talking about. You can give your child everything you have for eighteen years, and the truth is they may never see or acknowledge just how much you did for them. Unfortunately, what you give does not always return.
The real satisfaction is in knowing you have done what’s right. Sometimes this is all you get, and if you want to be happy, it has to be enough.
“Character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you.”
A while back, I loaned some money to a family member. When you loan someone money, you should never do it with the assumption you will get it back. Most likely you won’t, no matter who it is. I expected the worst and hoped for the best, but at the end of the day I felt it was the right thing to do, and that’s all that mattered. I would do it again, because that’s who I want to be, no matter the outcome.
“Serve one another humbly in love”
What we give is always what we are. Yes. If you only give to others expecting something in return - that’s who you are. If you give selflessly, out of love, and knowing your sacrifice may go completely unnoticed - that’s who you are.
In Unreasonable Hospitality, Will Guidara said, “the way you do one thing is the way you do everything.” If you only give your best effort when you know there’s something in it for you - that’s who you are. If you always give 100% to a task or project, knowing you may not get any award, promotion, or trophy - that’s who you are. Your character and integrity will always be tied to your actions, no matter the circumstance or consequence.
What’s the point? Does any of it matter? If you’re like me, you have often asked these questions in those lonely moments of Leadership. It’s too easy to fall into despair or self-pity when you don’t get the affirmation that your effort matters. This quote is a beautiful reminder that it does matter, even if others never recognize it. And doing the right thing, no matter the outcome, is always who I want to be.
“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.
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